My letter to my Mom and Dad

As you might know, I am writing a book about my life growing up with a brother who has Autism. Many parents approach me and ask, “What is your relationship like with your parents now?” To answer your question, I am openly sharing this letter to my parents, who have given me so much, yet, have felt so guilty for the sacrifices they have made for my brother. I hope this helps you understand how much they truly mean to me.


To my wonderful Mom and Dad,

I have never gotten the opportunity to tell you how much you mean to me not only as my parents but, as my friends too. Until recently I have been a bit jealous of the time that you spent caring and catering to Brian. I have always understood and I think that this makes me a strong and well-rounded person for dealing with hurdles that our family has had to overcome.

Through my eyes, your life experiences in raising Brian have made you both strong and admirable people. I know that God has a special place in heaven for you because of this challenge you have mastered in raising an Autistic son.
Like many parents of children of disabilities, you were never given a manual or rule book when Brian was born to defer to with all of our unanswered questions- which made it a roller coaster ride for not only the both of you but our family. You went with your gut instincts and you made the decisions that were best for Brian and our family. I truly applaud you for this and admire the sacrifices you made to give us the best life you could consider all issues that were dealt in your court.

Until I gave birth to my son Gavin, I didn’t realize how much pride and joy a child brings you. I couldn’t have imagine what you went through when you found out that Brian had to be taken away from you for extensive testing right after his birth. The first few years of Brian’s life I’m sure were probably one of the most difficult times in your life and I know that you both might have blamed yourselves and thought that you have done something wrong to make Brian the way that he is but, again, I think that it’s God’s way for picking two of the best people to raise and handle such a child. You both have far exceeded the norm and prototype for parents and continue to care for a grown man who needs constant supervisor just like a young child would.

You have rarely put yourself first in your lives and you had to deal with pain and disappointment for many years while Brian was growing up. On top of all of this I never once heard either of you complain, you just did what you had to do to make life easy on Brian and I. I hope that my book will be a therapeutic intervention for you and that I share our families story well. There might be moments of joy and then of tears but, I hope that you read this and know that you done all things right.

Thank you again for being my biggest fans in my life and encouraging me to purse my dreams. You have always said that the sky is the limit and I can’t do ANYTHING if I put my mind to it. Writing this book has always been a dream of mine and I feel so blessed to have you in my court cheering me on as I accomplish my wildest dream. It gives me great joy to share these moments with others because our family has always been about helping others out whenever possible.

Thanks again for being my inspiration, allowing me to learn from my mistakes and teaching me about the power of being of kind person. I have always stood up for what is right because I have watched both of you fight to advance the care given to children who are developmentally disabled. A shining example was when you both fought and lobbied with a group of parents to keep Burger School for Students with Autism open, when former Michigan Governor John Engler and the Michigan School Board wanted to close it down in the early 1990’s. You knew that this school was going to change the lives of thousands of families and students over the years and stopped at nothing to keep the school open.

In closing, I’d like to apologize for anything that I might have done to make your life more difficult while raising Brian. I have always tried hard to make you proud and knowing that I will be the only child that will bring you large accomplishments I aimed to please you both and hopefully you are pleased. Much love and I can’t thank you enough for being the best of parents. Love you both!