Challenge #4: "He's so embarrassing!"

I think that it very common for siblings to feel embarrassed by their autistic brother or sister's behavior in public, or to be reluctant to bring their friends home. Trust me, I know what this is like and it’s especially hard when you are bringing home a new boyfriend that you are trying to impress and meet your family. On several occasion, I broke-up with boyfriends soon after them meeting my brother because of their reaction towards him. I knew that our relationship would have never gone far if they couldn't accept my brother. But, the honest truth is that as a sibling, you need to surround yourself around people that are not embarrassed of your sibling. Whether its boyfriends or just friends, I usually had a good sense of what kind of person someone was by the way they treated Brian. Growing up, all of my friends loved my brother and a few of them even wrote papers about him in high school. It’s important for parents to encourage honesty and to laugh things off because things always get better.



From those typical siblings that I know, majority of them are outspoken and have no problems addressing crowds pointing out the fact that their sibling is different and if they have any questions, they can ask them instead of staring. For parents, the advice that I would give is explain to your typical child that it’s a tough job being a sibling but, you know what they are going through and it will make them a better, well-rounded person for dealing with all of this. Just this past Halloween I took my 25 year old brother trick or treating with my 2 year old son and although we got a very odd looks from people seeing a grown man trick or treat, I think it’s important to put all of the embarrassment aside and allow your sibling to have fun. Deep down this is a memory that I know that my brother will carry on forever. Every house he went to he had to shake their hand and say, “Happy Halloween”, and thank you for my candy. Once the neighbor realized he had special needs, they seemed to understand him better. I share this story because it’s important for siblings to take a chance and allow your special needs sibling to be exposed to many things, even it that means you might be embarrassed, but, in the end… who really cares, right?

Above photo: Brian at Halloween, 2009